Julie Goodyear: CBB’s scariest OAP

I’m starting to suspect Julie might be the devil incarnate, for the old dame is playing one seriously venomous game in the CBB house.

Julie, who likes to think of herself as the house’s mother hen,  is quite possibly the most intimidating seventy year old woman I’ve ever seen in my life.

While she accuses others (namely Coleen) of being fake, Julie herself has displayed a multitude of faces while in the CBB house – none of which are particularly pretty to look at.

Would you mess with this woman? (image: cdnds.net)

Her language is strong to say the least, but what I find most disturbing about Julie are her emphatic displays of false sincerity. I shudder each time she flashes that toothy, gum-chewing grin of hers while ‘bonding’ with another housemate.

Watching Julie lure individual housemates into one-on-one conversations is like watching a deadly spider weave its web. It’s fascinating. The actress certainly has a strange charisma about her, one which other housemates just can’t seem to resist.

For example, she has glamour model Danika massaging her feet, Daily Mail journo Samantha Brick calling her ‘mummy’, and the rest of the housemates kissing her proverbial bottom. Even Coleen, who clearly dislikes the ex-Corry star, can’t help but aquiesce when offered one of Julie’s ‘sympathetic’ hugs (that’s the same Julie who previously branded Coleen a “two-faced b***ard”).

Julie Goodyear and Danica foot massage

“That’s the spot” (image: cdnds.net)

Julie reminds me of that character from Lord of the Rings, Grima Wormtongue – otherwise known as the “archetypal sycophant, flatterer, liar and manipulator”. Given Julie’s barbed remarks, false declarations of love and corrupt whisperings, I think she’d be perfect for that role.

After all (and you have to give it to her), Julie is one hell of an actress. But I think a few housemates are beginning to see through her performance; Martin Kemp has picked up on her vile language, Coleen has long clocked on to her game-playing, and even Julian seems a little wary.

But who else will recognize Julie’s true colours? And more importantly, who will have the courage to stand up to her? Watch this space people!

Julie Goodyear CBB

Will Julie Goodyear make it to the CBB final? (image: holymoly.com)


When Julie met Julian

It’s official, I’m hooked on Celebrity Big Brother. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I guess the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem.

But what a lovely problem it is to have! Tuning into the show each night has become my new guilty pleasure. CBB is, once again, proving to be extremely entertaining, and some of the housemates are great fun to watch – in particular Julian Clary.

On last night’s show, Julian, who sat with feline grace on the Diary Room chair, sarcastically lamented the fact that he isn’t considered a ‘bruv’ among the younger male housemates.

Julian Clary Celebrity Big Brother

Julian Clary aka The Kindly Professor

“I had hoped to be another bruv,”Julian quipped. “But of course I’m that much older, so I don’t come into the bruv category”. He then dryly added that “The Situation”, who he has now started referring to as “The Occasional Table”, takes “a while to formulate a sentence’.

Speaking about the Jersey Shore star, Julian mused: “The Occasional Table is my name – in my head – for The Situation… I think it’s more appropriate… he’s so dense, he doesn’t understand jokes. He’s a funny man isn’t he?”

Catty? Maybe. Hilarious? Absolutely. What a refreshing change it makes to have somebody as humorous and shrewd as Julian in the house – he definitely ain’t the typical calibre of CBB housemate, that’s for sure.

Julian Clary and Julie Goodyear

Unexpected friendship: Julian Clary and Julie Goodyear

Equally rewarding to watch is Julian’s blossoming friendship with Julie, otherwise known as his newfound fag-hag. The ex-Corry star may be seventy years old, but she’s certainly still feisty (and has a mouth like a sailor).

After the series ends I think it’s only right that these two have their own chat show, where both simultaneously chain-smoke, make filthy jokes, and put the world to right. While sitting in a swan boat. The Julie and Julian Show. Has a certain ring to it, no?

Julie Goodyear and Julian Clary

Julie and Julian aboard The White Swan

More on Julie…

Having said all that, I’m not quite sure where Julie’s coming from, in particular in the context of her odd (and seemingly false) relationship with Jasmine.

Julie was happy enough to tell Jasmine that she ‘loves’ her, ‘adores’ her, and even offered to ‘adopt her’  for the duration of their time in the house.

But once Jasmine disappeared out of sight, Julie freely branded the volatile glamour model a ‘looney’. Methinks there’s a lot more to Julie than meets the eye, and that we can expect much more drama from this old gal yet…

Julie Goodyear Celebrity Big Brother

Any BETS on Julie to win? (image: radiotimes.com)